The Morning Grind
by Late2SGA
Summary: A mishap with an Ancient device brings an unexpected visitor to Atlantis... A short, fun crossover with Numb3rs - Sheppard, Rodney, a little Zelenka and a surprise(d) Eppes brother! Adventure/Humor.


The Morning Grind

An Ancient device brings an unexpected visitor to Atlantis... Based on a story by DinerGuy (with permission- thanks!). Crossover with Numb3rs, with Sheppard, Rodney and one of the Eppes brothers. humor/adv/scifi

-  
"Rodney, what have you done?!" John Sheppard strode into the room and shouted amid flashing lights and blaring alarms.

Rodney kept his gaze focused on the console in front of him while he frantically typed on his tablet. "I didn't do anything! I was just running a diagnostic and the alarms started."

Lights set in a geometric pattern in the ceiling were going off and on in one-second intervals, while lights set in the walls in a pattern of vertical lines lit up on the opposite beat.

"You were supposed to study the device, not blow up the city!" John barked, fighting the urge to cover his ears. "What happened to being careful until you and Radek figured out the room's purpose?" John glanced questioningly at Zelenka, whose fly-away hair looked fuzzier than usual, and the Czech shrugged in reply while typing determinedly on his own laptop.

The device John referred to was a recently catalogued piece of Ancient tech located in a small, newly mapped room. Atlantis was filled with rooms that looked like labs, rooms that seemed to be empty, and rooms that held equipment the Expedition members had yet to study and couldn't guess at their function. The 'device' was an entire wall of unknown Ancient technology.

"Just hold on a second!" Rodney continued tapping the keyboard until suddenly the lights quit flashing and the noise died to nothing. The silence was stunning. Rodney took a breath and turned to his team leader. "See? Nothing to worry about."

"So, what happened?" John asked grimly.

"It's fine," Rodney insisted stubbornly.

"Rodney, what did you do?" John persisted.

"Uh, I don't really know." McKay looked down at his tablet, his attention caught. "...but it's all under control now..."

"Colonel," Zelenka explained, "it is possible that any unauthorized connection to device will trigger alarm." He looked over at McKay. "Rodney, should you be-"

"Look at this," Rodney exclaimed. He was tapping keys and his eyes were quickly scanning the data appearing on his screen. "I'm not sure, but this looks similar to-"  
Lights suddenly flashed on in the ceiling in the center of the room, in a sequence that made a sparkling circle in front of the Ancient wall panel-a light lit up blue, then went white as the adjacent light lit blue, then the first light went dark when the second light went white as the third light lit blue. The pattern continued along the circle. The rate increased until all the lights seemed to be lit almost at once. An alarm increased accordingly and everyone covered their ears to muffle the cacophony.

John winced. "McKay, shut it off!" He'd yelled to be heard.

"Trust me, I'm trying!" came the shouted reply.

The circle of lights suddenly exploded. John ducked and covered his head while Rodney dove under the console to avoid the shattered glass and Radek held his laptop to protect his face. The small room filled with smoke, a choking haze that brought tears to their eyes and cut visibility. The alarm pulsed in a dull buzz.  
The smoke began to clear. Radek was muttering in Czech and shaking glass from his hair, Rodney was crawling out from under the console and John straightened up to brush off his clothing. All three came to a dead stop. A man in the center of the room had slowly turned to face them. He looked amazed, then confused, then he stared suspiciously at each of them.

"Did my brother put you up to this?"

SGA ~ SGA ~ SGA

Don Eppes knew his supposition was wrong before he'd even finished the question. If anyone could pull off a prank like this it would be his genius brother, with a couple of his brilliant friends, but the three strangers seemed as startled as he was.

What had happened? He'd been on his way back to his vehicle, fresh coffee in hand, and suddenly he was in a smoke-filled, unfamiliar room. Don let his gaze pass over the lights and unusual equipment. Impossible. Like some sci-fi movie...

The little guy with glasses had been speaking a foreign language-Czech, Don thought, which raised flags for possible international terrorism. Most anyone educated enough to operate whatever was in this room would likely speak English, but Don wasn't certain his question had been understood.

The tall man in black wore a uniform and a sidearm in a thigh holster. Military, by the stance and quick recovery-surprise had given way to guarded suspicion very quickly.

The third man had emerged from underneath a table. He was the most shocked, judging by the open-mouth stare. Then his eyes focused. "Coffee!" he exclaimed and he came at Don.

"Rodney, no!" shouted Man-In-Black. What he meant, Don knew, was Rodney, don't stand in the line of fire.

"Sheppard, look! Real coffee!" and 'Rodney' reached out and took the cup from Don. "Sorry," he said to Don as he lifted the lid and took a deep sniff, "but it's been forever."

'Sheppard' had moved his hand to his weapon and Don had shifted slightly for access to his own glock. Seconds ticked by. The swirling haze dissipated. And neither man moved.

Rodney seemed finally to notice their stillness. He looked from Sheppard to Don and back again. "Really? Seriously? Is it some alpha, gun-toting gene that can't comb its hair?"

Don thought he noticed a shift in Sheppard's expression, but it was so subtle he wasn't sure. Behind Rodney Don could see a jacket thrown over the table. The sleeve patch meant Rodney was Canadian. And since Sheppard had turned slightly, Don could see the American flag on the black sleeve. Which meant the room had something to do with an international project of some kind, involving science and military personnel. Maybe the FBI was needed for security, but how did Don get there?

Sheppard cleared his throat, regarding Don with a still-wary expression. "I'm sorry, but where exactly did you come from?"

"LA." At the stunned look-or was it lack of understanding-Don continued, "Los Angeles. California. ...United States?" he added after a moment, uncomfortable with the need to clarify.

"I know where LA is," Sheppard replied. He turned his head but kept his gaze on Don. "Rodney, how did he get here?"

Rodney reluctantly handed back the cup and returned to the laptop on the table, where he started clicking keys. "You know as much as I do. I was just perusing the schematics from the-" He shot Don a look. "...device and then everything went up in smoke." He looked up to see if anyone appreciated the pun, then he continued, disgruntled. "Give me a few minutes."

Sheppard eyed Don with resignation. "You don't, by any chance, have something to do with the Air Force..."

"No." Don shook his head. "Don Eppes, FBI."

SGA ~ SGA ~ SGA

"Eppes?" Rodney looked up. "Hey! Are you related to-"

"Rodney!" John interrupted. "This is not the time for a social visit," he admonished, trying to keep Rodney from spilling any further information. The less Agent Eppes knew about anything was better for them all. "Just fix it!"

Eppes looked at John. "You can't, by any chance, tell me what the Air Force is doing here with a project involving international cooperation from science and military..."

Before John could reply, the last couple bulbs in the ceiling exploded, with enough force that the floor shook and the walls trembled and a shower of crystal and sparks hit John and the FBI agent. Everyone in the room was thrown off balance. John steadied himself and noticed Eppes had staggered a few steps from his arrival position, indicated by the circular pattern in the floor. John looked over to see Zelenka had ducked behind his laptop again, and Rodney was holding onto the console. It was the look on McKay's face that gave John pause.

"Rodney, what just happened?" John was brushing at his neck and shoulders and shaking his head. He could smell singed hair and his face tingled uncomfortably; the skin was tender.

In the voice of Cassandra Rodney began, "We are so screw-"

"Rodney! Whatever it is, just fix it!"

Rodney glared at John, then glanced over at Eppes, who was still a bit unsteady on his feet. "I think we just lost the, um, control crystal. I'm still trying to figure out what happened."

John's radio crackled. He raised a hand to his ear and listened to some concerned questions. "No, just a slight accident, Chuck. Everything's under control now. Sheppard out."

Zelenka finally spoke, approaching Rodney with his own laptop. "It is possible, as you paged through downloaded data, you may have activated command sequence."  
Rodney glared at Radek and headed under the console.

"Could we not attempt reversing process, since we know the links you accessed?" Zelenka offered.

John knew they were in for a full-blown McKay Meltdown about Opie the Obvious. He ignored the verbal fireworks that were simmering and approached Eppes. "You okay?"

The man had a hand to the back of his head and when he pulled it away, his fingers were blood-smeared. "Yeah. Fine." He looked up at John and raised his chin.

"What about you?"

John lifted his hand and touched his fingers to his cheek. He could feel a cut and bumps, like a rash. "I'm good."

"Stoicism in stereo," Rodney grumbled under the console, taking a breather from his running snarky commentary at Radek.

Eppes shifted his weight and faced John. "I was brought here against my will. I think that entitles me to an explanation." He gripped the cup and crossed his arms, prepared to wait.

John grimaced and shook his head. "The less you know, the better. Classified, I'm sure you can guess." He looked over at the two scientists, who were whispering heatedly. "Rodney?"

"What?" McKay snapped at the interruption and then moderated his tone when John held his gaze. "Fine." He slid back and rose to his feet, standing behind the console. "There are two big problems: one, we don't know how it works, and two, we don't know what went wrong. So, I'm not sure how to fix it."  
Eppes asked forcefully, "You don't know how it works?" at the same time John requested a time estimate for the job.

"What? An estimate?" Rodney exploded, completely ignoring Eppes' question. "Didn't I just say-"

"What about Radek's idea of reversing the process?" John interrupted and watched Rodney gather breath for a long tirade.

"It takes time to understand a schematic," McKay exclaimed indignantly. "This is a very complicated piece of equipment, and didn't I just warn you we lost the control crystal?"

"You're saying he's stuck here," John clarified, at the same time Eppes nearly shouted, "You're saying I'm stuck here?"  
Rodney made a show of controlling his temper in the face of inane questions. He crossed his arms. "Yes, he's stuck here!"

"And you can't say for how long," John stated with Eppes.

Rodney shot them both an annoyed glance. "Fine. Three days, one hour, twenty-two minutes and thirty-six seconds." Shaking his head he bent over the keys. "Now let me work."

John walked a few steps and stood looking down, studying the lights encased in the floor tiles in a circular pattern.  
Eppes followed him. "Look, if my brother were here he'd be interested, trust me, but I need to get out of here...wherever 'here' is, and get back. I'm in the middle of a big case."

"Rodney?" McKay looked up at John's hail. "Come here and take a look. Isn't that another control crystal?"

Rodney rushed over, looked down, then looked up at John. "You don't think...?" John nodded. "Can it be that simple?"

John nodded again. "Coming and going."

"Radek," Rodney ordered, "find the command sequence I accessed." Turning back to Eppes he directed, "Stand right there."

Eppes stepped into the circle hesitantly. "Will this work?"

Rodney frowned. "Just stand there and be quiet." With a flurry of fingers he tapped the necessary keys.

"This isn't going to blow up on us again, is it?" John asked, glancing up at the remnants of the lights in the ceiling.

"I don't think so. Now just hold on a second..." Rodney completed the sequence by hitting the last key with a flourish.

The lights started circling... Then the alarm blared and glass exploded. When the smoke cleared, Don Eppes was gone.

John sighed. "That was a weird start to the day, even for here. I'll have the SGC check to make sure he made it... And no more access without careful study first, McKay!" he ordered.

"Yes, yes, of course. But do you realize what this means? We could get to Earth and it doesn't require a ZedPM!"

"And how are we going to do that, Rodney, when you blew both directional control crystals and we can't exactly go to the hardware store to pick up more lightbulbs?"

John reminded him.

Rodney frowned. "Do you think he'll tell anyone?"

"I think Agent Eppes knows how to keep a secret, especially if everyone would think he's nuts if he mentioned any of this."

SGA ~ SGA ~ SGA

Don squinted in the sunlight. He was back on the side street in LA, next to his vehicle, and no one seemed startled by his reappearance. Maybe ten minutes had passed; his cup was still warm...and his coffee was almost gone. He'd stopped for his usual morning brew and it felt like a detour to the Twilight Zone.  
Don touched the back of his head. The hair was rough and singed and his scalp was sore; he hadn't imagined it.

Too bad he couldn't tell Charlie. On the other hand, considering his brother's security clearance and some of his projects Don could only guess at, Charlie might already know.


End file.
